How I found Love in an Unexpected Way without looking for it
As an introvert, an INFJ to be exact (Introvert iNtuitive Feeling Judging according to the Myers-Briggs personality test which you can take at 16personalities.com), it has always been difficult for me to socialize and more so, to expose myself, express my feelings and my opinions in public and in front of other people. I was always the one who, in groups and social gatherings, stood outside, watching from the periphery, yet soaking in the vibes and analysing my surroundings and the other people present. When my friends started to dance on the table at parties, I watched silently from a corner. But, no need to feel sorry for me, because I feel comfortable this way. I live in my head. What I lack in social performances and skills, I have always made up intellectually and mentally. In fact my mind works furiously all the time. I observe and I analyse. I have a life-long group of best friends with whom I feel comfortable and who allow me to come out and totally be myself, but other than that, I have to work on myself constantly when it comes to face social situations of any type in real life. So really, it is not surprising that I choose to become a freelancer, isn’t it?
But in this day and age of the internet and social media, it shouldn’t be difficult for an introvert to come out so to speak. After all, via the internet anyone can be whatever they want. So is it possible to make connections and even actual friends via social media?
Let’s take Instagram, for example, which is my favorite social media platform. I am highly visual and enjoy beautiful images, cool edits, vibrant colors, along with little stories and meaningful captions. The perfect combination of words and images, like an illustrated book. I am not into the endless selfies feeds of wanna-be models and Influencers, but rather enjoy the diary-style raw shots of life in the city or the fantasy-infused highly skilled Photoshop edits or the lovely and pleasant landscape images or the lovingly arranged and beautifully photographed flatlays. Just to name a few. There is true talent to be found on Instagram.
And virtual friends as well. Sometimes I come upon a profile that really speaks to me and I feel a connection. That may be because I am highly intuitive, because I have felt connections and vibes that nobody else noticed all of my life. Obviously I don’t know the person, but his posts speak to me, his stories capture my attention and I become curious. I want to know more about the person’s life, but not his identity. I look through his entire feed and discover more and more things that grab my attention and that I truly like. At some point I feel like I know the person somehow. I start engaging with him in comments, and soon he discovers the same about me. We start communicating in more detail and on a more personal level. You discover that you think alike, have the same views and opinions. You start looking forward to a new post and a new comment from him. He admits that he too is very introverted and that Social Media allows him to express his views and feelings while in situations with people he encounters in life, he struggles with social anxiety. There it is then, the connection that works both ways.
It feels like you start to getting to know a person without the limiting burden of physical aspects. For example, you don’t know what the person looks like, you don’t know his ethnicity, his religion, his social status, his likes and dislikes. Which means you communicate with him on a very raw level. It’s only the person himself. If you would have met in real life, he or you might have thought “He/she is not my type physically”. And the relationship would have ended right there and then. Without even considering that he might have a beautiful personality and a lot to share with his environment. You express feelings and opinions that in real life you might think too stupid, too emotional, too childish.
In short, the relationship concentrates on the essential aspects and attributes, and not on distracting physical qualities. It might grow over time, or it might not, but even so, it has given you the opportunity to share moments of another person’s life over distance and time. What’s not to like about that?